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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29475921">take my hand, wreck my plans</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GilbertsMangoes/pseuds/GilbertsMangoes'>GilbertsMangoes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>take my hand, wreck my plans universe [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gilmore Girls</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Commitment, F/M, Falling In Love, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Literati, Love, Song: willow (Taylor Swift), Through the Years, java junkie, moments in between, the one where jess learns to communicate, the one where rory doesn't string dean along</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:08:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,341</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29475921</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GilbertsMangoes/pseuds/GilbertsMangoes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"She didn’t like Jess. No, he was intellectually stimulating company and admittedly easy on the eyes, but her mom(the person she valued most) hated him, and Dean treated her well, even if he was possessive sometimes. A good boyfriend was always kind of jealous, right? It was him watching out for her, even when his criticism was unwelcome. He was kind and safe, however less worldly he was, and he made sure she was happy.</p><p>So when she went to the diner after school to wait for her mom, things should’ve been completely normal. </p><p>So why was she engrossed in watching a certain someone maneuver through tables and behind the counter, shirt rolled up to his forearms that flexed when he carried stacked plates? Why was she warm under her suddenly tight collar when he brushed a hand through dark and intentionally groomed ruffles of hair? Why did her stomach flop when the lips so often quirked up in a faint, crooked smirk pursed together in irritation at Kirk?"</p><p> </p><p>Or the one where Rory isn't unnecessarily cruel and realizes her feelings without anyone having to force her hand. The one where she and Jess learn to communicate. Basically, this is how season 2 and onward progressed in my head.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Emily Gilmore/Richard Gilmore, Jackson Belleville/Sookie St. James, Lane Kim/Dave Rygalski, Lorelai Gilmore &amp; Rory Gilmore, Luke Danes &amp; Jess Mariano, Luke Danes/Lorelai Gilmore, Richard Gilmore &amp; Jess Mariano, Rory Gilmore/Jess Mariano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>take my hand, wreck my plans universe [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2236092</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>take my hand, wreck my plans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rory Gilmore was having thoughts. </p><p>Not a relatively new occurrence for a Harvard bound junior, but these were considerably different. Especially when they were about Jess Mariano and not about Dean Forester and certainly not of the nature that were able to be spoken in public. She couldn’t think them without flushing!</p><p>They were private, but not in the way that Miss Patty would be interested to hear. They were private in the sense that everyone in the town would think she was insane for thinking that way about a hoodlum like Jess instead of the respected, hard-working, and considerate boy that was Dean. </p><p>She knew that it was considerably wrong of her, especially when she had a boyfriend that she was sure she was in love with, but she had tried to reign her thoughts in, and it didn’t work. They just felt so… entrancing, for lack of a better word, and Rory always had words, so she knew it was serious. </p><p>She didn’t like Jess. No, he was intellectually stimulating company and admittedly easy on the eyes, but her mom(the person she valued most) hated him, and Dean treated her well, even if he was possessive sometimes. A good boyfriend was always kind of jealous, right? It was him watching out for her, even when his criticism was unwelcome. He was kind and safe, however less worldly he was, and he made sure she was happy.</p><p>So when she went to the diner after school to wait for her mom, things should’ve been completely normal. </p><p>So why was she engrossed in watching a certain someone maneuver through tables and behind the counter, shirt rolled up to his forearms that flexed when he carried stacked plates? Why was she warm under her suddenly tight collar when he brushed a hand through dark and intentionally groomed ruffles of hair? Why did her stomach flop when the lips so often quirked up in a faint, crooked smirk pursed together in irritation at Kirk? </p><p>She didn’t notice him walking up to her until he was right there with a pot of coffee in hand.</p><p>“Hey,” he greeted shortly. He swallowed, and she saw his Adam’s apple bob. “Refill?”</p><p>“I’m offended you had to ask,” Rory harrumphed, crossing her arms over her chest. He slid into the seat across from her, the one Lorelai would be taking if she wasn’t so caught up at work. His agile hands poured her another cup, filling it to the brim just because he knew her that well. </p><p>Her perceptive eyes noted the shadows of scars and bruises on his knuckles, and it made her wonder how he got his manual dexterity. He definitely was not a jock by any means, and again her mind wandered to what else he could do with his hands… </p><p>She closed her eyes to reset for just a moment. This wasn’t right. She was just being a hormonal teenager. It was normal, and she just had to get over the thrill of change, and the strange feelings would come to pass.</p><p>“You have a minute?” she asked conspiratorially, leaning on the table and resting her arms on it as she took a long sip of her coffee.</p><p>“I could spare a few,” he shrugged, grinning like a devil at her. God, why did he have to do that? It didn’t make resisting his charms any easier.</p><p>“I’m taking five!” he bellowed to Luke.</p><p>“You took your ten an hour ago!” responded Luke incredulously, rolling his eyes.</p><p>“Huh,” Jess shrugged with a smile reserved for her, as if they had their own personal secret. He made no move to go back to work. Rory held in a laugh at that. His brown eyes twinkled with mischief, and that wicked smirk that Rory liked came out of hiding. </p><p>“Fine, you can have an extra break but only because Rory’s here.”</p><p>“Ooh, I have privileges!” gushed Rory in a girlish tone, tilting her head to the side and grinning in a display of innocence. </p><p>“Now I feel like I’m talking to your mother, and that’s not a compliment.” Jess laughed sardonically, the husky rumble sending jolts of something not foreign to her through her skin. It was the same thing she had felt when Dean had kissed her for the very first time, and she did not like that simple fact at all. </p><p>“And now I know why they call you a hoodlum around these parts,” she responded very matter-of-factly, shrugging simplistically before turning to her book bag before finding what she needed to.</p><p>She showed the cover of the battered and creased book to Jess. “I finished it.”</p><p>What was previously her least favorite book had become one dear to her heart in three days, not because of the writing, but because of the messily scrawled notes in the margins. Jess was insightful, as intelligent as she was, and his detailed analysis of the text and the little connections to his personal life seemed to be better than the nondescript Hemingway!</p><p>She could almost imagine his hands curled around the bottom of the spine of the paper back, cover creased from being bent in his back pocket, eyebrows furrowed in concentration and bottom lip pinned down by his teeth as he took a pen to paper, letting the messy running letters flow from his brain straight to the book. The boy was amazing at expressing his thoughts through words when he wanted to, but chose to be a mini-Luke in front of Stars Hollow. It made him endearing to her because she knew it was a front, but it made her wonder how much more undiscovered potential he had. It was part of his allure… as a friend, of course. </p><p>“Took you long enough,” he jibed, but making no move to take his copy back from her hands.</p><p>“What can I say? I fell asleep every ten pages,” she shrugged, as if to say What can you do?</p><p>The truth was, she had read just his notes maybe four times now. His intellectual capacity made him good company, and sometimes she’d go so far as to say a friend. </p><p>She held it out to him, trying not to show any reluctance to hand it back. He laughed quietly and shook his head, that rare and genuine crooked grin that it seemed only she got to see showing itself.</p><p>Jess, with sunlight through diner windows that transformed his gleaming brown eyes into golden pools of honey, with a genuine smile for her, with dark gelled hair that she was tempted to reach out and touch, it had got to be the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.</p><p>She felt just slightly light headed. It wasn’t fair that he just might be more attractive than Dean. Dean was so much better suited to her!</p><p>“Keep it; it’s yours.” Before she could ask any further questions, he walked away with a smile playing on his face, as if he knew everything that was running through her head at top speed, and butterflies erupted in her stomach without her permission. </p><p>____________________</p><p> </p><p>She took it back.</p><p>Jess in the sunlight was good enough… but Jess in the snow was something different, something ethereal.</p><p>She had started out mad at him and for good reason. She knew he liked to err on the side of danger, but with her boyfriend, especially when she and Jess seemed to be friends?</p><p>Like always, she couldn’t stay angry at him for long. It was somewhere in between talk of Chuck Presby’s crassness and the sudden shift in mood about his mother that she realized that she wasn’t freezing him out like she wanted to, but rather an avid participant of the conversation. And then he struck a nerve with talk of Dean.</p><p>Dean was a wonderful boyfriend, everyone around her told her so, but she hated how she struggled to find concrete things they shared. A lot of the time, it seemed like she was educating him about a book or a movie, or he had his mouth on hers. </p><p>Dean was a fairly good kisser, that she could say without having any experience at all. He made sure she felt good. He was safe and wouldn’t challenge her. She could depend on him to be the same every time. Ever since Jess had moved in, she kept wondering about the difference between dependable, predictable, and...well, boring.</p><p>The idea seemed treacherous to even think about when she was sure she didn’t deserve Dean, and she tried to focus on his good points. He didn’t need to be an intellectual for her to love him. She thought about Dean’s swoopy hair, but that train of thought very quickly diverted to his impeccable style, the soft ruffles that were beside her now. She thought about how tall Dean was, but that quickly turned distasteful when she thought about how much she had to strain upwards to kiss him. Jess was only just two inches taller than her, and it would be so easy… </p><p>She shook the thought out of her head. Every path she took convolutedly led to Jess at the end, so she gave up trying to be mad at him when he was sitting beside her so enticingly.</p><p>Their legs were pressed together on the sleigh, and even through layers of jeans, the contact made her heart pound and stomach flutter. She had a couple inches of space to her left, and she definitely could’ve moved, but it seemed like she was glued to the seat. A feeling of startling horror came over her when she realized she simply did not want to. </p><p>She looked over at him with full intentions of starting a conversation, but she sucked in a breath at the sight instead of saying anything. She felt a little faint in the head as she inspected him carefully. </p><p>It had started flurrying a while ago, and crystals of snow were peppered in his hair, pure white contrasting with mocha brown. A few flakes had landed on his long eyelashes, disappearing when he blinked them away. His tanned cheeks were flushed rose from the cold, and his almond shaped eyes glimmered in the darkness, a faraway look with a slight smile on his face at her vehement denial of his claims about Dean.</p><p>It didn’t help that she kept thinking of how much she wanted to stay here and sit next to him like this forever, his infuriating sort of charm, how he smelled like the diner(coffee, what she loved most!), old books, with the trace scent of cigarette smoke and aftershave. </p><p>Eventually, she had to give in, and they fell into that easy companionship they always had, discussing new books, movies, even politics at a point, all while her body zinged with electricity.</p><p>__________________</p><p>She hated how every time she spent time with Jess, she fought with Dean, and she definitely hated how she didn’t mind that Jess had outbid him, and she despised how her day with Jess was a million times better than any day she’d ever spent with Dean.</p><p>________________</p><p>Jess had dropped off food, and she already had her suspicions about the motives behind his insistence to stay, but she let him anyway. She could have gotten him to leave if she really wanted to because she knew that Jess, for all the persistence he had in trying to spend time with her, would leave if she really asked him to. At the end of the night, he did.</p><p>Unlike Dean, she noted, that simply did not want to leave her alone.</p><p>She immediately berated herself for thinking of her boyfriend so begrudgingly, but her heart wasn’t in it.</p><p>She truly did not want to see Dean that night just because they already spent so much time together, but when Jess left, she felt herself grow strangely empty(which was one of the ulterior motives in inviting Paris to stay over, along with the fact that the intense girl was proving to be a good friend).</p><p>In fact, she was disappointed, even frustrated when Dean had interrupted the easy rapport she, Paris, and Jess had developed over dinner. In another universe, she could’ve seen them as the best of friends the way they got along. </p><p>The next day, she promised to make it up to her boyfriend by spending the day with him. She really should have been home studying or making sure Lane was alright after the ‘break up’, but she wanted to save her relationship with him.</p><p>At the beginning, her heart would have fluttered and she’d have smiled all day at the thought of spending all day with Dean, but more and more, spending time with him was starting to seem like a chore, something expected of her. When she had finally gotten a night of peace, it had crumbled away because he didn’t like her spending a night with friends without being jealous.</p><p>But Dean was waiting for her outside the diner, and she’d have a good time with her boyfriend whom she loved today. </p><p>That was… after she talked to Jess while paying</p><p>Finally, basking in the golden feeling of a long conversation that Dean had probably waited impatiently for, she was able to muster up a smile and pretend it was for him. Pretend it was for her loving boyfriend even though her heart was crying out to go spend another day bickering playfully in the bookstore or discussing the semantics of fast food. </p><p>And the worst part? She was pretty sure Jess knew that.</p><p>____________________</p><p>They had fallen into a comfortable silence. The radio was playing mellowly in the background, and she was singing along, off-key at some parts like she usually was. Jess was more subtle, but you could tell he was enjoying the moment by the rhythmic drumming of his fingers against the wheel.</p><p>She looked over at him fondly, grinning as his lips started to mouth the words to the song hesitantly.</p><p>Her eyes traced over each slope of his seemingly perfect face. The olive hue of his clear skin, smooth and clean shaven, long lashes at the end of two entrancing hickory eyes, his now mussed dark fluffs of hair, the movement of his pink lips. </p><p>She tried to shake herself out of the trance, but as always, talking to him seemed to submerge her more.</p><p>“Don’t be shy,” she encouraged, nudging his arm gently. “I can’t sing to save my life, but here I am.”</p><p>“I have a reputation to uphold, Rory,” he refused, but the edges of his mouth quirked up. </p><p>“I won’t tell anyone,” she promised, making a motion of sealing her lips shut. </p><p>“And I’m supposed to trust you?” he snorted, glimpsing to the side briefly to see her blue eyes shine with mirth. </p><p>“Don’t I look trustworthy?” she responded with an angelic smile. Though they avoided each other’s gaze, somehow at the exact same time, they smiled at the recollection. </p><p>“I can’t believe every pretty face who says that,” he replied, and she blushed at the insinuation. Jess wasn’t one to be touchy feely and tell her constantly how she had the best personality or that she was beautiful, so when he did, it made her feel all the more special, like he meant it. </p><p>She dared to look to the left, and it seemed he had the same idea. Their eyes met, and it was like she was sinking into the moment. She subconsciously wished everything away except him, and it seemed like he was doing the same. How easy would it have been to lift her left hand and inch it towards his non-driving hand or just to place it on the console or even just to take a leap of faith, tell him to pull over, and explore the lips she’d been wondering about for so long.</p><p>It was so wrong of her, so adulterous and ungrateful to what she had now, yet so enticing. </p><p>The trance was broken by his eyes widening as she heard pattering across the road. She put her arm on the dashboard to brace herself for the impact, and he swerved to the right harshly. She heard the sickening crack of it bouncing against the surface before she felt the searing pains. </p><p>Involuntarily, a whimper escaped her lips at the shooting ache, and she only briefly registered how the car was at a horrible tilt, halfway between the road and a ditch. </p><p>She heard Jess swear underneath his breath and open the door to his side, wincing as paint chips and glass fell off her car. The car that Dean had made for her. A horrible feeling dawned over her. He’d be ballistic, not only because of the car but because of the person driving it. </p><p>Jess unboarded his side quickly, not even thinking about the steep slope underneath his feet.</p><p>“Rory? Are you okay?” he asked her with more urgency than she’d ever seen him with. His eyes were frenzied in a wild panic, staring at her with so much concern. Her eyes were already welling up, and he seemed to grow smaller in front of her at the sight. She tried in vain to wipe them away, but his face only panged with hurt and vulnerability again. </p><p>She could tell how hard he was trying to keep the tough guy facade, but it was crumbling like an old stone wall. </p><p>“It’s okay,” he said unsurely, sucking in a breath. “It’ll be okay,” he told her, sounding more like he needed to convince himself. </p><p>As for Rory… she didn’t doubt him when he said so. She trusted Jess with her well-being. She was surprised that the revelation didn’t shock her.</p><p>“Do you have your cell phone?” he asked, sucking in a slow breath. He played cool and calm, but there was real fright in his body language. She nodded and handed it to him wordlessly. </p><p>She watched him pace across the street, yelling at the emergency room to come get her quickly. As he walked, she saw a shadow of swelling above his left eyebrow and a cut that would definitely leave a scar. </p><p>It made her eyes water more. Not because she was hurt, but because he was and no one seemed to care, not even him. </p><p>And then it hit her. That could have been worse, the way they fell into the ditch. He could’ve swerved much faster, and her head could’ve been resting on the now broken windows like they were not five minutes ago. He could’ve been in her situation, with a fracture instead of a cut, and she felt a rush of fear go through her.</p><p>Something was put into perspective when she realized that. Everything she had been tiptoeing around could’ve been lost just like that.</p><p>And that movie moment that was supposed to happen the first time you saw someone happened then. Everything snapped into place.</p><p>Mustering up the courage to get out of the car, she winced as she used her injured arm to push the door open. She carefully stepped over the remnants of her car to get to Jess. </p><p>“Yeah, just off the side of the road,” he explained to someone over the phone. “Someone’s injured. Yeah, whatever. Thanks.”</p><p>He hung up on whoever he was calling with a defeated look in his usually dancing eyes. He wasn’t one to talk, but just by the look in his eyes, she could tell that he was beating himself up over it. Jess tore himself up just at the idea of hurting Rory.</p><p>She reached up to brush the cut over his eyebrow with concern and frowned when he winced. “It’s okay. We’re okay.”</p><p>“Rory,” he protested half-heartedly, his voice strangled with shame, excruciating pain, guilt, a mix of all three. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“It was an accident,” she acknowledged with a small smile and a shrug. </p><p>“I really do screw everything up, don’t I? I’ll wait up for them to make sure you’re okay, but then I’ll leave, okay? That’s probably best,” he laughed dryly, no humor in his voice at all.</p><p>“Jess, don’t say that,” she pleaded, taking his hand and squeezing it. If he was surprised, he didn’t show it. He was probably drowning in his own feelings, but in a true Jess fashion, couldn’t care less about them. </p><p>“No, Rory. I know you try and see the good in everyone or whatever, but this was-”</p><p>Before he could finish, she reached up just a little bit to touch their lips together, forgetting the pain in her arm for just a moment, getting lost in the feeling.</p><p>She had imagined it before, but it didn’t do any justice to the way Jess responded. </p><p>The flavor of his kiss was somehow softer than she had imagined, sweet and apply from the pie they had eaten earlier, but also something that she identified as purely Jess. His skillful lips seemed golden, godlike on hers, and she wondered how it was fair that she’d been missing out on this the whole time. If she thought Dean was a good kisser, Jess’ lips seemed designed to compliment hers.</p><p>She’d break up with Dean tomorrow, she resolved. It was only fair to not to string both of them along. For now, she wanted to ignore her immobile left hand and get lost in the feeling of Jess’s lips moving against hers, his hands floating from skimming her hair to pulling her closer by her waist. Coherent thought was quickly very difficult, and her right hand threaded into the silky hair at the back of his head. It was softer than she could have possibly imagined.</p><p>Because of the pesky need for oxygen and the fact that as much as they’d like to, they couldn’t ignore their situation, Rory pulled away, shocked, astounded, flabbergasted at herself for doing something so unlike her. She felt this horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had cheated on Dean. Even worse than that, she didn’t feel like it was a mistake to kiss Jess. She liked him, she wanted him, and God, she wanted him a lot more than Dean. </p><p>She’d have to break things off with Dean, but she couldn’t be with Jess either. Her mom would be furious, and how could she even be really sure that what she was feeling wasn’t petty, fleeting lust? </p><p>In her heart(that didn’t overthink nearly as much as her head), she knew it was more than that, but she didn’t want to admit it to herself. </p><p>He couldn’t think anything after that. He could only blindly nod along to what she said. </p><p>They stood in silence for a few minutes, the only sound being Rory’s occasional wince or whimper at her hand’s shifting while they waited.</p><p>“Jess,” she whispered barely audibly, looking at her shoes and shifting uncomfortably. He heard it anyways and stole a glance at the girl, heart melting at her unconsciously worry-widened baby blue eyes. How did she manage to do that to a coldhearted ass like him?</p><p>“Yeah?” he barely responded, swallowing back anything else, everything he wanted to say that just wouldn’t come out.</p><p>“Don’t leave, okay?” He knew she wasn’t talking about leaving her alone in the hospital. In fact, it was probably best if he wanted to keep all his limbs on his body. She had sensed his immediate flight reaction. He had planned to take the first bus out of here until things calmed down, but how could he when she was explicitly asking him like this? How could he refuse Rory?</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>___________________</p><p>“Oh, Rory! Are you okay?” Lorelai sighed in half relief and half pain when she saw her baby girl’s arm being wrapped up by a doctor. She ran up and kissed the girl’s forehead. </p><p>“Mom!” she exclaimed, feeling like it was days rather than hours since she last saw her mother. She was alone; the doctor had gone to fetch a cast for her arm.</p><p> Jess had taken off after the doctors had made sure it was only a hairline fracture, promising to see her tomorrow when she asked. He had his doubts about whether Lorelai would let him(and so did she), but that was a different hurdle. </p><p>And so, Jess had reluctantly left her alone, resisting the urge to smoke through a pack of cigarettes. </p><p>“Honey, are you okay?” she asked her daughter. When Rory nodded and attempted a reassuring smile, she asked, “What happened? You were supposed to be studying!”</p><p>“We just went out for ice cream, Mom. It was an accident! There was just something small and furry and Jess swerved, but we’re okay and the furry thing’s okay! The car’s a little messed up.”</p><p>Lorelai’s eyes blazed with fury at Jess’ name, and her hands balled up at her side.  “Well, I appreciate your honesty. And his courage for sticking around full well knowing how close to death I’m going to bring him-” </p><p>“Mom!” Rory interjected. “It wasn’t his fault!”</p><p>“Really? It wasn’t? Because if I remember he was driving, and he got distracted. All signs point to him because it certainly wasn’t the car that wanted to end up in a ditch! Dean’s car, Rory! Your boyfriend, remember?”</p><p>“Can we talk about this later?” Rory hissed impatiently. “I will explain everything to you! I’ve never kept anything from you for long!” </p><p>“Rory, why would you do this? Dean treats you… like a princess! You love him! He doesn’t deserve this!” Lorelai’s frantic screaming was accompanied by wild gestures to punctuate it.</p><p>“You think I don’t know that?” Rory yelled back more loudly than anyone had ever heard the tender-hearted, amiable girl. “You think that’s not exactly what I’ve been thinking these past weeks, Mom? All anyone’s been telling me is how lucky Dean and I are to have each other, what a safe, dependable, comfortable boyfriend he is, that he’s the best person I’m going to get right now! And despite all of this, all I can seem to think about is, well… not Dean, obviously!” Tears were rolling down her cheeks now, and her body itched to be held by Jess like before.</p><p>“Rory, I know him! I know his type of guy. He’ll draw you in with good hair and his James Dean vibe and his bad boy charm. He’ll love you and leave you, and I’ve been with that type of guy! You’ll end up heartbroken. I don’t want that for you, hon. I want you to be safe and happy.”</p><p>“I know you do, Mom. You just have to trust me when I say that Dean isn’t making me happy anymore. He’ll make someone a great boyfriend, but not me anymore. 15 year old Rory fell head over heels for the first guy with a functioning brain, kind heart, and decent face to like her, and I feel so incredibly guilty about leaving him in the lurch like this after he’s been so good to me. He’s great, but not for me. </p><p>He needs someone who can share more with him. We can’t hold a conversation without making out for God’s sake! We share little to nothing in common except for the fact that you love both of us. I didn’t treat him right, and it kills me, Mom. But I can’t do anything about it. I don’t even know if I like Jess enough to be with him, so it isn’t about Jess, it’s about Dean and I. It’s better I cut things off now and spare Dean from any hurt in the future and do what my heart’s been telling me to do. If you’re not happy with it, I’m sorry, but I don’t regret it. I just need you to please trust me on this. You know that I value you more than anyone, so please, just trust me.”</p><p>After the impassioned speech, Lorelai was looking at Rory with wide eyes. Her eyes were misty and desolate, but they had dulled from furiousness to an antipathetic almost acceptance. She really was sure about this, wasn’t she? The fact that she’d fight with her mom, her best friend?</p><p>Lorelai still had a feeling it wasn’t only about Dean, and she knew her daughter was in the depths of denial. It was terrible for her to half-wish it would stay that way, but she knew that Rory was intelligent. She’d figure it out sooner or later. </p><p>“Alright,” Lorelai sighed defeatedly, shrugging and rubbing her temples. “I can’t argue with you on this. I trust you, Rory, and if you think Dean,” she grimaced at his name. “isn’t working out, that’s for you to decide. Just… think about your real motives first.”</p><p>“Thank you, Mom. It’ll all work out, I swear.”</p><p>She couldn’t explain why the first face that flashed through her mind was Jess.<br/>
____________________</p><p>She had tried everything. Counting sheep, warm milk, 50 different positions in bed! At 2 AM, she flicked on her light and perused her bookshelf. Without a moment’s hesitation, she picked up her battered copy of The Old Man and the Sea, complete with Jess’ annotations and a crease in the middle from being placed in back pockets. She figured Hemingway would put her right to sleep.</p><p>An hour later, she had reread it twice, paying more attention to the notes in the margins than the subject matter. </p><p>She put it down and picked up her copy of Howl, scanning her eyes over the notes over and over and over, imagining his sly smirk and his attractive drawl in her mind. She giggled at a suggestive comment he’d written near a specific line and saddened when she saw a reflection of his tragic past underlined or written about in vague terms, making her heart ache to absorb all of his troubles.</p><p>She thought of his sarcastic wit, his velvety laugh, the genuine grin that he seemed to only show to her, his whip-smart mind, and something in her sleep hazed mind awakened. The picture was vivid, and she felt herself unconsciously grinning at the image. Without the expectation of having to love Dean, of knowing her mom was begrudgingly okay with it, of getting to know how it was to be wrapped in his arms, the cloud of emotion cleared.</p><p>She sat up in her bed and threw her quilt off of her. She stood up clumsily and ran up the stairs to the first person she’d ever think about telling this kind of thing to even if she’d be less than supportive.</p><p>She stood in her mom’s door frame and whispered softly, “Mom?”</p><p>Her mom groaned and sat up slowly, squinting at Rory’s frame in the doorway. With sleep thick in her voice, she yawned, “Rory? Are you okay? Is it your arm?”</p><p>“No.” She shook her head, and Lorelai got out of bed slowly and walked over to her daughter. </p><p>“What is it?” she inquired, fearing it was something much worse than it was by the panic and worry in Rory’s body language. She was fretting with the ends of her sleeves, and her eyebrows were furrowed, a telltale sign that she was thinking deeply. </p><p>Rory looked up at her with vulnerability written all over her face and whispered just loud enough for her to hear what she had to say. “I like Jess.”</p><p>They were both silent with the impact of the realization when finally, Lorelai sighed and wrapped an arm around Rory, hugging her grown-up daughter close. “I know, babe.”</p><p>_______________________</p><p>“Dean,” she breathed, suddenly very anxious greeting him on the empty inside of Miss Patty’s with a shaky smile. </p><p>“Rory!” he responded, trying to go in for a kiss. She stepped back, and his lips brushed the air. “What happened to your arm?”</p><p>He frowned with concern and slight hurt from her evasion, and she fell into that pit of swallowing guilt again. He’d never forgive her for this. </p><p>In a moment of very brief cowardice, she considered continuing on like everything was okay and breaking up with him through a phone call later, but it was short-lived. He deserved to know her feelings from the horse’s mouth. </p><p>“Read,” she directed, taking a sheet of paper from her coat pocket. He took it from her, eyeing her strangely. “And don’t stop until you’re done.”</p><p>His eyes scanned it over, and she could feel him get angrier and angrier. She had included everything that had happened that night except for one event, perhaps the most important one. After a minute, he looked up with his face contorted into a mean scowl and nostrils flaring. He gesticulated wildly while he talked, making her wince and step back with… mild fright. It seemed that after she had realized her true feelings, she was starting to see all the little red flags. </p><p>“Rory, what the hell? I told you that guy was trouble and-”</p><p>“Dean, you know I’d never do anything to hurt you intentionally,” she interjected, feeling horrible when it came to doing the act. </p><p>“Oh yeah? Because it seems like-”</p><p>“Dean, please listen,” she directed, stern but soft in her tone. “You’re a wonderful guy. I did love you, and a part of me always will. You are my first love, but first doesn’t mean forever.”</p><p>He saw where this was going, and his anger quickly changed to desperation.</p><p>“Rory, are you breaking up with me?” he asked her seriously, swallowing and looking down at her slouched frame.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Dean. My heart’s not in it anymore. If we continue to pretend nothing’s wrong, it’ll just be unfair to you. I… I like someone else. I feel so ashamed for not telling you earlier, but I do. You’ll always be special to me, and you’ll be a lot more special to someone else in the future. You were a great first love, but we’re ill-matched.”</p><p>There was a long period of silence as he processed her words.</p><p>“It’s Jess, isn’t it?” he mumbled, looking down at her morosely. “Its always been Jess, from the moment he came here. I knew it.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Dean,” she repeated, shaking her head. She looked at him with tears misting the hypnotizing blue eyes Jess and Dean both couldn’t resist, perhaps the one thing they had in common. She was sure she wanted to be with Jess, but there were two years of her life attached to Dean. He was her first love, her first kiss, the first time she experienced true romantic feelings outside of the realm of a crush. You didn’t just let go of all that easily. </p><p>The helpless and desperate look on his face morphed before her eyes. The frown turned into a glower, and his eyes grew from glazed over to stormy. His body tensed up, and his fists clenched by his side. He stepped closer to her, and she froze.</p><p>“He’s going to break your heart, you know?” he spat, shaking his head with a humorless chuckle. “I know his type of guy. Lorelai does too. Hell, the whole town does! Doesn’t it mean something that so many people don’t like him?”</p><p>She took a deep breath, trying not to appear puny in front of the hulking boy as tears trickled down her face. </p><p>“I don’t want to defend my decisions to you, especially when Mom said she’d try to be fine with it. Even if Jess wasn’t in the picture, we weren’t working out, Dean,” she shrugged and smiled sadly, but it faded off her face. “We wouldn’t last. You and I are so different. We have different aspirations and interests, and all we do these days is make out. We can’t talk about anything. We need to not hold each other back. It just so happens that I found someone that I can share things with.” </p><p>“It never seemed to bother you before! Just because I’m not going to Harvard doesn’t mean you can talk down to me!” he yelled, contorting his face into a look of disgust. Her mouth fell agape at the suggestion.</p><p>“I’m not talking down to you! I’ve tried to be as kind about this as I can, and I know towards the end, I didn’t treat you as well as I should’ve. That’s why I’m breaking it off before it can get worse! It isn’t about going to Harvard! Jess isn’t going to Harvard! We can’t be with each other because we don’t push each other forward! We’ve both been clinging to this relationship because it’s safe, Dean. I-I need to move forward.” </p><p>By this period, her voice was hoarse and her eyes were puffy and red from the tears that had run down her face and the yelling over him.</p><p>“I should’ve known us little guys would never be enough for Rory Gilmore, ivy league queen of Stars Hollow. She’s too good to stay with someone so simple for so long. Men like me only hold her back to the town that worships her, but she’ll just abandon at first chance for something supposedly newer and better,” he spat, mocking her with a high girlish voice.</p><p>“How could you say something like that?” she cried loudly. “You know I have never looked down on anyone in this town. I love this town, and I can’t believe you’re using this against me. I-I’m trying to do this respectfully, Dean. Please, I don’t expect you to be happy about it or even talk to me anymore, but-”</p><p>“You know what’s really respectful of you, Rory? Leading me on when you’ve liked that loser.”</p><p>“I know, Dean. It was so cruel of me and-”</p><p>“You know what’s even kinder? Deciding to kiss him before even bothering to tell me we were over!”</p><p>She froze. “How did you find out about that?”</p><p>He scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Town talks, Rory.”</p><p>“I know I treated you terribly, Dean. I’m so sorry about that, but I can’t help it. I like him. That’s why I’m ending this now before I hurt you and him more.”</p><p>“Too late,” he jeered. “Have a nice life, Rory.”</p><p>She sobbed at his stinging words, not being able to choke out a response to the assault on her personality. She knew she had led him on, been a terrible girlfriend towards the end, but did she really deserve this?</p><p>“You know what?” he bent down and got closer to her face so that they were eye to eye. “Have fun with James Dean, but don’t come running when he breaks your heart. Hell, you might cheat on him since you just can’t help yourself.” </p><p>“Dean-” she gasped, but he stormed away, kicking a stray chair hard across the room.</p><p>Not being able to take it anymore, she ran to the first person she thought of, wiping her face furiously.</p><p>She almost ran into a lot of her fellow townspeople, but she sprinted faster than she ever had in her life. Not to her mom because she would never understand this pain. She’d have a strong bias towards Dean, and her clouded judgement would tell her that Rory was beat up over breaking up with Dean, that her subconscious was telling her to make things right with them again.</p><p>Really, it was the opposite. Rory was crestfallen over the fact that they didn’t get a kind, mature breakup. She knew Dean didn’t like Jess, but she thought he’d at least be compassionate about her feelings like the Dean she thought she knew. </p><p>It went to show how much denial had blinded her earlier. She didn’t expect him to do cartwheels or to even be on good terms with her, just a simple acknowledgement of her feelings instead of invalidating them like everyone seemed to do, telling her that she was a confused girl who made all her decisions off of a fancy about a boy.</p><p>As much as she adored Lane, the girl had limited experience with anyone.</p><p>So she ran to the only one who’d provide her any real comfort now, bursting through the diner doors and scanning the floor. When she didn’t see him, she ran upstairs past Luke’s confused hollers and knocked on the door frantically. She heard heavy footsteps and his deep voice sounded as he opened the door.</p><p>“Luke, you know I have today off-” He froze and stopped talking when he saw her. Her perfect blue eyes, like teardrops against a spring sky, were weighed down with all the sadness of two years. Her bottom lip quivered with the threat of a sob, and his heart constricted in his chest in a way he didn’t know was possible. Rory Gilmore turned him from a sarcastic ass to a teddy bear with just a bat of her eyelashes, and he was half-loving and half-frightened of this relatively new feeling. </p><p>“Rory?” he said, his usually cavalier tone laced with careful concern. He heard an almost inaudible whimper escape her, and fury bubbled up inside of him at whoever had caused this. He didn’t show it, only looking upon her with deep and conscientious eyes that she could sink in on a regular day.  It was a new side of him, one that she’d only seen after the accident.</p><p>Hesitantly, as if to gauge her reaction, he took her hand and led her inside the small apartment, closing the door behind them.</p><p>“Are you okay?” he asked, gently brushing a straight lock of hair to see her face better. That was another side of him only she saw: gentleness. “I swear to God if Forester tried something, he’s dead,” he half-growled, letting go of her and stepping past to fling open the door, rolling up his sleeves to go give Dean a piece of his mind.</p><p>She weakly grabbed his arm again and pulled him back to her. “It-it wasn’t Dean. Well, it was, but you can’t do anything about it.”</p><p>“You know I hate admitting this more than anyone, but I don’t understand.”</p><p>“I broke up with him. He got mad, like… really furious, Jess. H-he said these horrible things and-” A muffled cry escaped her mouth as she crumbled into Jess’ arms, heaving sobs wracking her petite frame. Jess marveled at the new closeness, but didn’t remark as he was fortunate enough that she already trusted him enough to come to him. </p><p>She hadn’t intended to come here and sob her heart out. She had intended to talk to Jess like adults about where this was going, but it just turned out that Jess was a willing shoulder to cry on.</p><p>He simply pulled her towards the couch to sit down before someone(he didn’t quite register if it was him or her) pulled the other back to their previous position. He could feel moisture soaking through the shoulder of his shirt, but he didn’t mind. </p><p>She smelled like fruity shampoo and strong coffee, and all coherent thought ceased at the way she held him like a lifeline, like if she let go he would disappear forever.</p><p>What surprised Rory was how much care was in his surprisingly soft touches. For someone so rough around the edges, he treated her like she was the most rare and delicate jewel. Intellectually, he encouraged her to push her boundaries. </p><p>She noted that he had never been the one to initiate anything on the physical side as much as he pushed her to her limits. He encouraged her to instigate something, but he had never done it himself. She had made the first move, the first kiss, even though he had been subtly flirting the entirety of their friendship. </p><p>This simple fact made her hold on to him tighter and closer long after she had stopped shaking with tears. </p><p>He didn’t argue and played with the ends of her silky straight hair as he hugged her. Finally, he nudged softly, “You wanna tell me what happened without the tears this time?”</p><p>There was a moment of silence, and then she drew away from his warm embrace. Both of them felt the pull back to each other, but resisted it as they had done for months now. She looked down at her skirt, fiddling with the seam. </p><p>“I tried to break up with him maturely. I thought we could be adults. But then… he was so hurt, Jess,” she looked up at him with unintentional puppy eyes that made him want to do things more than hug her. He shook it out of his head. Rory wasn’t that type of girl, and he wanted to do right by her. “He said some things that were so… harsh.”</p><p>She groaned and hid her thin face in her unharmed hand. “I’m a bad person!”</p><p> Before he could open his mouth to protest, the traditional Gilmore babble proceeded. “I knew that I liked you all along, but I led Dean on. That’s my biggest regret. Oh well, I don’t regret this of course, not if you don’t, but why couldn’t I have just let him down gently earlier? I just felt so safe with him, and I knew everyone had all these expectations of us. They hated you no matter what I said, for some reason. I guess that was the problem, wasn’t it? I liked you a lot more than they did and a lot more than I liked Dean. That’s what caused all this. I want to feel bad about it, but I can’t. I feel bad for hurting Dean, but I wouldn’t go back and change being with you-”</p><p>“Are you done?” he interrupted sharply, a look of mild amusement on his face. Her rambles were just about the sexiest thing on planet Earth, but he didn’t want her to continue to berate herself. “You’re not a bad person. Forester… probably deserved it, but that’s just my opinion of him being a chauvinistic douchebag. I know you’re not trying to make me feel bad with all of this, and… I, uh, I like you too,” he admitted, the last confession lowering in volume. His cheeks darkened, and she beamed through tears when he said it.</p><p>Jess didn’t confess to these things often so when he did, she knew he meant them. It took a lot for someone like Jess to be raised without love and then openly admit he cared about someone. </p><p>The room was suddenly full of palpable tension, and it wasn’t the stressful kind. In sync, they looked up at each other, and the sky clashed into the earth as their eyes met. Rory snuck a glance at his lips that were practically begging to be kissed, and it seemed like he was doing the same as they broke the eye contact that was deafening in a silent room.</p><p>Jess’ right hand grazed her face slowly, and his eyes asked a silent permission which she granted a thousand times over. At a speed that was definitely too slow for both of them, they leaned in, eyes on each other as the world faded away. </p><p>Finally, their lips met for only the second time, and it was explosive. The first time, she had been pondering the Dean situation. Now that was taken care of, and Dean was the last thing on her mind.</p><p>Jess’ kiss was unexpectedly soft and sweet, yet something in it was zealous all the same. He wasn’t pushing her further, but it seemed like he couldn’t get enough of what he already had. He couldn’t get enough of her. After months of denial and quippy banter and waiting, they finally had each other, and they weren’t going to let go any time soon. </p><p>Her useless hand came to rest around his neck, and her right hand threaded through the thick hair on his head. All she wanted to do was be in this moment forever, lips moving against the others, his just slightly calloused hands finding her waist and gently exploring(appropriate parts of) her body with the same masked curiosity he did everything with. </p><p>A small sound escaped her throat as the kiss got more intense. It had to be the first time she had ever made anything of the sort.</p><p>Finally, she pulled away to catch her breath and an itchy arm. She didn’t fully pull back; her hands were still slung around his neck.</p><p>“Wow,” she whispered, starry-eyed and slightly slack jawed.“How’d you get so good at that?”</p><p>Wordlessly, he raised an eyebrow at her, the corner of his mouth raising in amusement at her reaction. That was his Rory: dorky, naive, and absolutely beautiful for it.</p><p>“Never mind, I don’t want to know.” She shook the thought out of her head and ran her fingers through the hair at the back of his head. They stood in comfortable silence for a few long moments.</p><p>“Jess…” murmured Rory.</p><p>“Yeah?” </p><p>“Jess, I… I know it seems soon, but… you think… would you want to be…” She flushed as she tried to phrase it correctly, and he thought he’d spare her the embarrassment, no matter how cute she looked in that shade of pink.</p><p>“Yeah,” he agreed with his signature crooked smile. Unlike almost every other time, there was no cunning or snark in it. It was earnest, pure care. He so often tried to mask it, but she cut through the rough exterior like a knife.</p><p>“Good,” she answered before leaning in again. This time, he left her speechless for a different reason. </p><p>_____________________</p><p>“This has gotta be some kinda medieval torture device,” he grumbled, fussing with the crooked tie on one of Luke’s old suits, tailored to his size by his girlfriend’s mother. </p><p>He was on the inside of Luke’s apartment getting ready to head over to Sookie’s wedding with Rory. Dean had originally been her date, but that obviously wasn’t happening now. She didn’t think Jess was one for social functions, but with a little arm twisting and some highly effective puppy dog eyes, he caved like he always did. Even Luke didn’t give in as quickly as he did!</p><p>Luke snorted from the bathroom, combing and gelling his usually unkempt hair down. “You look absolutely dashing.”</p><p>“Oh geez,” Jess scoffed, rolling his eyes and getting more irritated by the second because the tie just would not cooperate. “How’d I get roped into this anyway?”</p><p>“Because Rory has you wrapped around her little finger,” Luke simply responded.</p><p>“Huh,” Jess mumbled, finally ripping the damn thing off of his neck and starting to redo it. </p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“Nothing. Just that you did the exact same thing, and it’s more pathetic because you don’t have the guts to ask her out.” Jess shot him an intentional look from across the room.</p><p>“Ask who out?” </p><p>“Geez, don’t play dumb. You weren’t even planning on coming until Lorelai batted her eyes and said, ‘Please, please, Luke! I’ll be grateful to you forever!’” he imitated with a mock chipper tone, a poor imitation of Lorelai’s amusing wiles. She knew Luke would do anything for her and vice versa and used it to her advantage, but the painfully ignorant woman didn’t know how far those feelings ran. </p><p>“Don’t be a wise-ass,” grumbled Luke, shrugging on a sports jacket and stepping out of the bathroom to slip on his dress shoes.</p><p>“Just sayin’, Uncle Luke,” he shrugged innocently, turning on the ‘I’m an innocent little boy’ charm. “Or maybe you’re too preoccupied with the girls you have up here, remember?”</p><p>Luke gritted his teeth. “I thought we were never bringing up that insane girl again.”</p><p>Jess smirked and finally finished fussing with the tie. He quickly put on a sports jacket that actually fit him right(Surprisingly, Lorelai hadn’t ‘accidentally’ poked a couple pins in the jacket when getting him to try it on) and put on a pair of new dress shoes. He hated everything about the occasion except maybe a certain bridesmaid. </p><p>“Ready to go?” Luke gestured.</p><p>“I’m just hoping Patty doesn’t drink enough to hit on anything with two legs, a face, and a masculine shape.” </p><p>Jess flung open the door and sauntered down the stairs as Luke chuckled, “I wouldn’t count on that.”</p><p>With relative silence as they drove, they finally reached the Gilmore house. After knocking three times with no answer, Luke just opened the door and heard yelps of, “Late, late, late!” from the top floor. </p><p>There was the patter of feet down the stairs, and Lorelai emerged in an elegant cobalt dress that came just past her knees. It had a scoop neckline and an exposed back, and she was fastening an earring as she ran down, her straightened hair whipping through the air.</p><p>She waved at them hurriedly as she dashed into the living room to grab her keys. She and Rory had made a visit to Sookie earlier that morning to help her get ready and put on their dresses, but had to return home for some accessorizing and to grab some supplies. </p><p>Jess could all but hear the hidden frenzy in Luke’s mind as he saw her and laughed to himself quietly. He would’ve thought it was absolutely pathetic, but unfortunately, he found himself doing the same thing as steps came from the direction of Rory’s room as a melodic voice called, “Mom, have you seen my pearl… hair clip,” she trailed off when she saw who was already there, smiling brightly and stepping closer to him shyly. </p><p>Jess could only mumble out a quick greeting, marveling at the girl-woman- that stood in front of him, utterly and criminally unaware how alluring she looked. The dress was similar to Lorelai’s but with a higher neckline and a skirt that fell a few inches short of her knees.</p><p>It clung to her miraculously lithe figure and made her long, statuesque legs look even better on the soft curves of her figure. It really wasn’t fair to just about every member of the female gender that she did absolutely nothing and looked like that. It set off her eyes almost perfectly, and he couldn’t help but smile slightly as those very same eyes looked at him with the kind of adoration he would never have expected.</p><p>Her very presence made him feel like he was worth something. A year ago, a surly, closed-off sixteen year old Jess Mariano hanging around New York with the weight of the world on his shoulders would have scoffed at the very idea. If only that boy could see him now.</p><p> He wasn’t much better personality wise- he was still a smart ass, introverted, slightly rude book junkie- but Rory Gilmore, the angel of Stars Hollow, beloved by all who laid eyes on her, the picture of goodwill, had dared to tell him he was worth more, could do more than one of Liz’s loser boyfriends. And for whatever reason, he had believed her. Now, by some celestial miracle, he got to kiss her, hold her every day. Despite all his faults, she had chosen him. </p><p>Sometimes the thought crossed his mind that he was a little bit in love with her, but it disappeared as soon as it dared to show itself. That was silly and a little too schoolgirlish for his taste. </p><p>He didn’t know what love even remotely felt like, but he didn’t think it was possible to feel it so quickly. He cared about her a lot more than he wanted to admit, but love was a little extreme for someone who had just now learned how to give a damn.</p><p>He was snapped out of his reverie when she leaned up slightly to kiss him. He returned the gesture happily, fingers skimming her cheek lightly as Lorelai returned and made a face at the display.</p><p>“No canoodling in front of Mommy!” she cringed, wrinkling her nose in disgust and mostly the odd growing pains of seeing her daughter blissfully move on from what seemed like the perfect boyfriend to someone the exact opposite. She was trying to be okay with it for Rory’s sake, but it was always hard. </p><p>Reluctantly, she stepped back but kept close to Jess. “Get your own then,” she giggled to her mom, smoothing down her hair once more. She turned to address the mildly uncomfortable boy and said with the recognizable fire of want in her dancing sapphire eyes, “You clean up nice, Dodger.”</p><p>“Yeah? Well, don’t get used to it, Gilmore,” he retorted, shooting her an equally flirtatious look. </p><p>“Ugh, no eye canoodling either,” Lorelai demanded, feigning a shudder. </p><p>Luke shook his head at her antics and gestured, “Come on, Crazy Lady. I’ll drive you over. We can take the truck since I know neither you or Rory can drive a stick, and the kids can take your car. Rory will be driving,” he said, shooting a pointed look at Jess who looked around innocently and acted like he hadn’t a clue. </p><p>“Fine,” she pouted, opening their door and heading out while tossing Rory the keys. “You return my daughter unscathed and hair un-sexed, Mariano!” she threatened only half-playfully. Rory’s blue eyes went wide and she gaped as her face flushed strawberry.</p><p>“Mom!” she shrieked, all but pushing Lorelai out the door. </p><p>“Bye, hon,” she grinned, blowing her a kiss. “If you guys aren’t here within ten minutes of us, I’m assuming the worst!”</p><p>With that, she disappeared with a pale looking Luke. </p><p>As soon as the door closed, Rory turned to Jess and rambled, “I’m so sorry about that. My mom, I love her, but she can be a little much for people who don’t know her humor. It’s the Lorelai Gilmore bit, you know?”</p><p>“This isn’t the beginning of your relationship with the BFG, Rory. You don’t have to explain anything. Eight months in this town has given me a little experience with her already, including her urges to smash my head against a wall.”</p><p>She smiled at that and took his hand, grabbing her mom’s keys and pulling him to the Jeep.</p><p>“Oh Rory, sugar! You look absolutely precious!” Babette called from her porch, waving to the blissful pair. “And Jess! Woo-wee!”</p><p>“Thanks, Babette!” she responded with a giggle with a playful nudge towards Jess. “I plan on hiding him from Patty about three cocktails in!”</p><p>She heard Jess scoff and saw him wince at the suggestion, and she slid her arm around his back. Though rarely verbal in his affection, Jess was good at expressing it in actions, so she knew she was speaking in his love language as he slid an arm around her waist and squeezed her closer to him.</p><p>“Oh, aren’t you the most darling couple? When he first came here, I have to admit that I thought he was trouble, but I think I like him better than the last one! I’ve always been a sucker for a bad boy, isn’t it, sugar?” Babette gushed, shaking her head with a bright grin. “You all head on out to the wedding! I’m waiting for Apricot’s sitter!”</p><p>“See you!”</p><p>With a smile and a wave, she got into the driver’s seat of the Jeep as Jess slid into the passenger’s seat. She put on her seatbelt and started the car.</p><p>As they drove out, she teased, “I happen to agree with Babette’s analysis of you. But I don’t believe you’re a ‘bad boy’. That’s the image you project, but you’re not really.”</p><p>“Don’t go talking like that around town. I’ve got a reputation to protect, Gilmore.”</p><p>She nodded, glancing over at him with a warm grin. He couldn’t help but smile back with a quiet laugh. </p><p>“Rory?” he said softly as their hands connected over the console, and she drove with one hand. She hummed in response. “You look nice. A more pathetic man would even say beautiful.”</p><p>He watched as her smile brightened, the very smile that could brighten a room where not even a candle was lit. </p><p>“Good thing you’re not pathetic then,” she attested, squeezing his hand. </p><p>“Yeah, good thing,” he replied softly, knowing very well that these days, though he didn’t speak it out very often, he was all but pathetic.</p><p>_________________</p><p>Begrudgingly, her mom had let Jess sit at their party’s table for the wedding for Rory and Luke’s sake. She and Jess were sitting right next to each other, and she was reading the book that Jess brought with him, her head resting on his shoulder. She didn’t care for Hemingway, but she did care for Jess.</p><p>“You’re annoying, you know that?” he told her when she giggled and kissed his cheek and told him he was a big old softie at heart when he had underlined a very specific passage.</p><p>‘God knows I had not wanted to fall in love with her. I had not wanted to fall in love with anyone. But God knows I had…’<br/>
“You like me though,” she sang, wrapping her thin arms around his neck. It was clear she had no idea why he had underlined that specific part. Her blissful naivety was cute at times.<br/>
“Unfortunately.” With a roll of his eyes, he turned his head to brush her lips with his own.</p><p>And then she stiffened as a proud, scowling woman with flaming coiffed hair and a tall gentleman in a gray suit walked in. Her eyes widened and she drew in a sharp breath as Jess looked at her quizzically..</p><p>“My grandparents are here,” she whispered to him nervously, her teeth worrying her bottom lip in a way he usually found adorable. “Mom didn’t tell me they were coming!”</p><p>“Oh geez,” he groaned, slamming the paperback shut and stuffing it into his front jacket pocket. “You think we could hide in a closet for the rest of this and not come out until they’re gone?”</p><p>“Unfortunately, a bridesmaid hiding in the closet for a wedding when she’s supposed to be walking down the aisle in a half hour is generally frowned upon,” she sighed, standing up and brushing her dress free of wrinkles. </p><p>“You sure? I could make it worth your while,” he enticed only half-playfully with a devilish gleam in his eyes, earning a small smile and girlish giggle out of her.</p><p>“As tempting as that offer is, I’m sure. I’ll try not to actually mention you, but if they ask…” She looked at him expectantly. If he didn’t want to be introduced to her grandmother this early, she wouldn’t fault him. </p><p>“I’ll put on the body armor,” he completed for her tiredly, taking A Farewell to Arms out of his pocket again. </p><p>“Really?” she squealed softly, grinning at him. </p><p>“I have to meet them at some point, don’t I?” </p><p>“You’re the best! I’m forever indebted to you!” she called back, blowing a kiss as she walked in her grandparents’ direction where her mom had been making ‘help’ gestures.</p><p>“Rory!” her grandmother greeted cheerily, stepping back to get a good look at her. “Well, don’t you look just darling!” </p><p>“Elegant, indeed,” her grandfather chimed in with the typical warm smile he offered her and a small bow of his head, reflecting years of sage wisdom. </p><p>“Mom’s a genius,” Rory replied appreciatively, slinging an arm around her mother. </p><p>“Yes,” her grandmother acknowledged with a stiff smile. “Now, did you two come here alone?”</p><p>“Oh no,” Rory corrected at the same time her mom responded affirmative. Her mom shot her a strange look.</p><p>“I’m trying to save your relationship here, kid!” she hissed in Rory’s ear through clenched teeth and a fake smile.</p><p>“I talked to Jess. He’s okay,” she whispered back discreetly, unconsciously stealing a glance at her beautiful boy with his mind engrossed in a book, teeth running over his bottom lip unconsciously, a snuck-in pen writing perfectly articulated thoughts in the margins. Lorelai was inwardly surprised. She thought Jess would have run a thousand miles away from it. </p><p>“So, which is it?” Emily demanded, crossing her arms with an expectant look. </p><p>“I came with a friend. Rory came with her boyfriend,” Lorelai answered, gesturing to her daughter with a smile.</p><p>“Oh,” Emily said abruptly, a disgruntled frown forming on her face. “You’re still with that boy? The tall one?”</p><p>“No, we broke up some time ago,” she negated, shaking her head and thinking about possibly the best decision she made with a faint smile. </p><p>While it was true that Jess wasn’t as doting or good with romantic gestures as Dean, he showed his affection in his own ways: a book she’d been wanting to read mysteriously appearing in her bag, extra fries or something to that effect when she came to the diner, agreeing to meet her grandparents! Anyone who knew her well knew that she cared more about the little things on a daily basis than the grand romantic gestures once in a while.</p><p>“You’re with a new person? How come I had to find out about this now?!”</p><p>“It’s relatively new, Grandma. We just got together like two weeks ago, and I didn’t want to jinx it,” she explained. </p><p>“A grandmother should know about these things,” Emily insisted, rolling her eyes. “Can I at least meet this person? What’s his name?”</p><p>“Jess,” she trailed off quietly, knowing Grandma had heard more than enough about him. Emily gaped and crossed her arms over her chest.</p><p>“Jess? Lorelai, how could you let this happen?” she screeched loudly, earning weird looks from surrounding passerbys. Jess didn’t seem to hear anything, and Rory relaxed. </p><p>“Mom, we can talk about this later,” Lorelai reasoned, touching her mom’s arm to try and get her to calm down. “I trust Rory, and she likes him. Even if I don’t. Try not to judge before actually meeting him.”</p><p>“She’s right, Emily. Rory is a very intelligent young woman. If Lorelai deems it suitable, it’s not under our jurisdiction to say otherwise,” Richard advised, squeezing Rory’s shoulder with a companionable smile.</p><p>Emily gaped at Richard with eyes of daggers before giving in. “Alright. Let me meet him, but I can’t promise you I’ll like what I see.”</p><p>Rory beamed at her grandparents before running out to their table again and plopping down next to Jess. </p><p>He turned to her and she needled with an apologetic smile, “Time to put on the armor?”</p><p>Jess rolled his eyes and stuffed the paperback into his suit pocket reluctantly. “The things I do for you, Gilmore.”</p><p>“You get to choose the movie for the next 10 movie nights,” she promised, kissing him on the lips shortly. </p><p>“Not necessary. I suppose this comes with the territory of the entire boyfriend thing.” He stood up and let her drag him to where a snotty looking woman stood. </p><p>“I really do appreciate you for this.”</p><p>“I know. You’re worth it,” he stated unusually tenderly just as they reached, the strategic placement of the sentiment giving her no time to respond.</p><p>“Grandma, Grandpa, this is Jess,” she gestured with a larger-than-life smile from his previous comment and a small flourish of her arms. Emily harrumphed and nodded shortly in acknowledgement.</p><p>“Richard Gilmore,” he introduced, extending his hand to Jess. He shook it confidently, but Rory could see the slight trepidation in his eyes.</p><p>“Jess Mariano,” he replied, vacillating before adding, “sir.”</p><p>“Oh no, Richard is fine,” he corrected politely, quite literally waving away the comment. “You’re new in this town?”</p><p>“I’ve been here for a couple months,” he remarked, shrugging semi-awkwardly. He really was not one for small talk. There was an awkward silence that no one quite knew how to fill, and Rory was starting to freak out. </p><p>It was a life-saving moment when Jess shifted and the book he was reading stuck out of his pocket. </p><p>“A Farewell to Arms? Ambitious for your first Hemingway, is it not? Is it for school?” Richard asked, and Rory berated herself for not bringing up the subject at first. She, Richard, and Jess were some of the most avid readers she knew, and he was bound to get in Richard’s good graces with that.</p><p>“It’s not my first Hemingway,” he corrected, stuffing his hands in his pockets and a little offended that someone would look at him and automatically assume he was a typical mouth-breathing jock guy. He didn’t elaborate further, and Rory had to step up.</p><p>“Jess is one of us, Grandpa. He’s read more than me,” she explained, threading their arms together with a twinkle in her blue eyes as his eyes deflected towards the ground and his cheeks darkened. </p><p>“Now, I didn’t know that was possible!” the kind old man laughed. “What’s your favorite, young man?”</p><p> </p><p>A shadow of a smile passed over Jess’ face, but he was still reserved. This was much more in his element. “The Old Man and the Sea.”</p><p>“Ah, I’m surprised Rory here still likes you. I myself prefer some of Hemingway’s longer works.”</p><p>“It’s fair because she gets to like Ayn Rand,” he countered, looking at her fondly. She laughed softly and remembered his crooked grin from across the bridge, remembering how she wished the stupid basket wasn’t separating them that day. </p><p>For a good ten minutes, Jess stepped out of his shell inch by inch, not completely as free as he was with his girlfriend, but more talkative than anyone but Rory had ever seen him nonetheless. </p><p>Emily looked on with a face of fury at her husband’s casual friendliness with the boy and Lorelai with shock as he proved himself to be capable of speaking in full sentences. For a brief, fleeting, scary moment, she almost thought she saw what Rory liked so much about him.</p><p>Just before Rory was preparing to walk down the aisle with her mother, her grandpa pulled her aside and whispered, “You made a fine choice, Rory.”</p><p>“Preaching to the choir, Grandpa.”</p><p>_____________________</p><p> </p><p>She stood by Sookie proudly that day. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Dean glowering at someone, and she followed his gaze to where the object of his hate sat beside Luke.</p><p>She caught his gaze, and he smiled tenderly at her, his molasses eyes soft with adoration. </p><p>Sookie and Jackson were a beautiful couple that radiated joy, but his eyes were on her the whole time.</p><p>___________________</p><p>“I have to go to Washington this summer,” Rory told him sadly, her head on his shoulders on her front porch after the ride home. “I can back out of it. I wanted to spend summer with you, and-”</p><p>“Rory, forget it. I’ll be here when you get back. This is an amazing opportunity for you,” he vehemently objected, lacing their hands together and kissing the back of hers.</p><p>“Its barely been a few weeks, and we’re doing so well,” she pouted, leaning into his touch subconsciously. “I don’t want to mess it up.”</p><p>“We’ll be okay. We’ll write to each other. I know we’re both good at that.” Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. “My offer to scream at you in a foreign language still stands, but I’ll have to borrow a car.”</p><p>He felt the rumble of a laugh into his shoulder. </p><p>“You’re amazing, you know that?” Rory quizzed.</p><p>He hid a smile and the urge to tell her something sappy and just responded, “Whatever.”</p><p>__________________</p><p>“Luke’s diner. It’s Jess.” Silence. “Hello?” Just the sound of breathing. “Whoever’s on the other end has 5 seconds before I hang up on your ass.”</p><p>“Jess,” she breathed through the phone with a smile. She could practically see him saying that with a scowl. </p><p>“Hey.” </p><p>“Hey yourself.”</p><p>“You guys landed?”</p><p>“Yeah, Paris is already on the rampage over the quality of the hand soap.” He heard her giggle softly. “How’s life without me?”</p><p>“Lorelai’s already come in twice for coffee. She claims it cures her depression. Luke’s going to make so much money with you gone.”</p><p>“Just the sentiment I wanted to hear from my boyfriend.”</p><p>There was a silence over the phone again.</p><p>“I miss you, Jess,” she confessed.</p><p>“I miss you too. More than you know.”</p><p>______________________</p><p>“Jess, we need you!” Lorelai called as her heel snapped on the dance floor, holding up a yellow card. “Please, please, please, make sure she stays standing!”</p><p>Jess was left speechless with a half-asleep Rory slumped in his arms. </p><p>“Crackpot town,” he grumbled, shifting a little so Rory was more comfortable. Her head slumped on his shoulders and her arms had a loose grip around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist, swaying slightly. He got a chance to look at her, eyes closed angelically, and couldn’t help but smile. Maybe it wasn’t so bad.</p><p>“Mm,” she hummed, snuggling into his warmth. </p><p>His heart fluttered in his chest at the closeness, and he could feel hers quicken a little bit too. Over half a year(although two and a half months of them were spent through longing letters) and they still affected each other. At first, he didn’t think he was capable of a real relationship that long, but it was worth it for her. </p><p>There was that feeling again. That enveloping warmth inside of him that reminded him that he wasn’t quite the hardhearted smart-ass he sometimes aimed to be. Not around Rory.</p><p>She was still deliriously sleep deprived, and she tried to mumble something which he couldn’t quite make out. </p><p>After a minute or two, her breath evened out, and he was pretty sure she was either completely asleep or too out of it to notice anything around her.</p><p>With that in mind, he confessed something to her that he would have never done when she was awake, just to see if it felt right.</p><p>“You know it was over a year ago when we met?” When he was met with little to no response, he continued to whisper into her pinned up coffee brown hair. </p><p>“For all I hate about this town, I think I knew then that you’d be the best part of life here, of life anywhere really. Geez, I don’t think I’d really felt joy because of a person for years until you, Rory. It’s just… it’s always you, Rory. I don’t know why, but it is. You’re it.”</p><p>He paused again and barely heard anything from her, so he continued. </p><p>“I’m really hoping you’re too out of it to understand any of this. I have to tell you all of this some day, but I guess saying it right now when there’s a chance you might not be listening is comforting in a weird way. You know I’ve never been good at the verbal thing. You know everything better than anyone. I guess what I’m trying to say is that… I, uh, I love you, Rory. I really don’t know what it feels like, but if love doesn’t feel like this, I don’t think I’d want it anyways.”</p><p>Little did he know, for all her sleepiness, she had listened to every one of his words suppressing a huge grin. She knew that if she said anything, he would stop talking, and she desperately didn’t want him to do that. </p><p>When it seemed like he had nothing more to say and he was just… holding her, she managed to slur, “Love you, Jess.”</p><p>________________</p><p>“Mom… it’sgoingtobeJess,” she exhaled in a rush, her cheeks flaming red on her usually pale skin after the dinner with her grandma. It had started out rocky when he had shown up with a black eye. She pulled him aside after ten minutes of monosyllabic nonsense and tried not to make any assumptions, and he had confessed with the promise that she wouldn’t laugh.</p><p>Of course, the second he was out of earshot, she had laughed so hard her stomach hurt. It was hard to imagine her Jess being beaked by a swan. </p><p>And then, they’d made up in a way that still made her shiver now.</p><p>“Honey, I know we’re Gilmores, but you have to slow down there,” Lorelai remarked, folding her legs up on the couch. Rory remained standing, fiddling with the trim of her clothes nervously. </p><p>“It’s… it’s going to be Jess,” she repeated, drawing in a shaky breath. It wasn’t very specific, but from her demeanor, her mom knew. Lorelai always knew.</p><p>“Oh,” she sputtered, her eyes immediately snapping to her daughter on full alert. That was not what she was expecting. “You know this? Have you guys…”</p><p>“Oh no, no,” she denied, looking towards her shoes as her entire body flushed strawberry. “I haven’t talked to him about it either, but… it’s him,” she emphasized with amazing surety. “I know you don’t always get along, and the whole town likes me better when I’m the pure and untouched little girl, but it’s getting harder to… stop. I love him. He loves me. We’re mature enough. There shouldn’t be any more to it.”</p><p>“I know, babe. It’s just… it’s hard to think of you growing up.” She gave her daughter a small smile and beckoned her over. Rory plopped down beside Lorelai, resting her head on her mom’s shoulder as Lorelai threw an arm around her. “I’ll make an appointment with a gynaecologist, get you some birth control. Just… tell me when you think it’ll happen, okay? Love you, hon.”</p><p>“Thanks, mom. I love you too.”</p><p>_____________________</p><p>It had just been a Distillers concert. She had promised that they would hang out after going to the hockey game with Lane and Young Chui, and he had shown up outside with two tickets.</p><p>God, she couldn’t love him more if she tried.</p><p>That must’ve been what was going through her head when they ended up sneaking into Jess’ apartment afterwards(the room being empty because of Luke’s staying at Nicole’s house). They  were all fervent lips and wandering hands, stopping only to lock the door behind them. </p><p>And now, they were squeezed together on Jess’ single bed, bodies all but overlapping, but they glowed all the same as her head rested in the crook of his neck, and his dexterous hands traced slow patters over the soft and just matured curves of her body. Even as a fumbling virgin, he’d treated her so well, like she was a queen and not a blushing eighteen year old.</p><p>“This… this is the definition of a perfect moment,” she murmured into his skin, the smell natural and musky with the exertion of the activity. “This was perfect, Jess.”</p><p>“I’d agree with you on that,” he murmured, drinking in the moment. How long had he dreamed of this? Not just the physical portion(although that did comprise some of it), but just getting the privilege of holding her in the afterglow, the starry sheen of surreal beauty that seemed to occupy their minds now? It was true. It made a world’s difference when you were in love, and he needed to voice that. “I love you, Rory.”</p><p>Though they had said to each other a long time ago, he didn’t overuse the word. He said it just often enough to keep the feeling fresh in her mind, at impactful periods when he felt the need to. He didn’t say it as often as Dean, but she knew damn well that when someone like Jess said it, it was a much more momentous thing. </p><p>“I love you more.”</p><p>“Inconceivable,” he scoffed, pulling her even closer if it was possible. </p><p>“‘You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means,’” she quoted with a cheeky grin. </p><p>“Only you would make a Princess Bride reference after sex,” he teased, poking her in the side of her ribcage as she giggled. </p><p>She stuck her tongue out at him, scrunching up her nose adorably. “You started it.”</p><p>“And I’ll end it.” She didn’t notice his hands start to move slowly.</p><p>“Oh yeah? You can’t make me,” she challenged with a smirk that he was proud of. </p><p>“Lucky for me, I know a real good way to shut you up now,” he responded as her eyes flitted down to his lips with a suddenly hungry look in her eyes. Unconsciously, her face started to move closer to his as his hands came to her lower back, breaching only just discovered territory.  </p><p>“Mhm? And what’s that?” </p><p>He answered her with a kiss, and she was perfectly happy with that.</p><p>________________</p><p>“I’m not graduating,” were the words he spoke up in that bedroom at Kyle’s party. </p><p>The words thundered in her head. The look on his face, it was so… defeated, so unlike the sarcastic confidence he displayed around her. It played and replayed at warp speed, beating against the side of her skull. She didn’t care about prom anymore. It seemed so inconsequential. </p><p>She just took his hands and led him outside and marched them to their bridge. They needed someplace quiet to talk about it, and they weren’t going to get that during the party.</p><p>“C-can’t you make it up over the summer?” she quavered, her glassy blue eyes threatening to spill over with tears. </p><p>“I missed a month, Rory. It’s too much. I’d have to redo the year, and I can’t do that.”</p><p>With a deep breath, he spoke more vulnerably than he ever had before, launching into everything about his dad, about the days he had missed, about how she was still the most important thing even when she’d be across a continent during the summer, how he’d be further than 22.8 miles away by the time school was in session. 2,885.8 miles, to be exact.</p><p>By the end, tears were running down her cheeks and more spilled down still. By the end, even he had tried in vain to eclipse one or two trails of moisture. The worst thing in the world was seeing Rory sob like that.</p><p>She didn’t say anything. She knew nothing she could say would be sufficient to digest all of this. She simply wrapped her frail arms around his body and pulled him close, closer, not nearly close enough as he felt wetness through his shirt. He reciprocated her embrace automatically, running his hands through her long-ish hair.  </p><p>“We’ll make it work, Jess,” she sniffled into the warm skin of his neck. “Won’t we?”</p><p>He pulled back and looked into her eyes seriously. “Rory…”</p><p>“No, we have to!” she pleaded, her bottom lip quivering. </p><p>“I don’t want to pull you into this.” He shook his head and looked down at where their legs dangled off the side of the bridge, and noticed how she was playing with the edges of her jacket like she always did when she was nervous. </p><p>“What if I want to be pulled into this? We’ve been together for a year now, Jess! You have to tell me things! Why won’t you tell me these things? Is it because of something I did? Is it-”</p><p>He interrupted sharply, his voice quiet, steady, but saturated with emotion. “I don’t want to be the reason you lose faith in the world.”</p><p>“And you won’t be, Jess. You could be on the run from a homicide, and I still think it would hurt more to lose you.” She covered his hand with hers, and he flipped his over to lace their fingers together and squeeze her delicate hand lightly. </p><p>“You have this entire idea that everyone in the world can be good if they try. You haven’t seen the half of it, Rory,” he laughed bitterly, coming out more as a hollow bark. “If I told you what actually goes on, you’d lose that innocence that everyone loves about you.”</p><p>“If it’s that easily lost, I don’t want or need it. I love you, Jess. For everything bad you might tell me, I have a thousand reasons why they don’t matter. You love me, right?”</p><p>“Yeah, of course,” he frowned, wondering why she was asking the question that abruptly.</p><p>“So anything else doesn’t-shouldn’t- matter. At least that’s what I think,” she finished, nudging his foot with hers. “Go to Venice, become a beach bum, I don’t care, just promise me we’ll stay with each other. I don’t care how long it takes for you to find what you need; I’ll... be here.”</p><p>“You’ll wait up for me?”</p><p>“Always.”</p><p>He didn’t know how to respond to that verbally. He often didn’t. He just nodded before cupping her face and pulling her closer.</p><p>They didn’t know anything right now, but they would always cling to each other.<br/>
_________________________</p><p>“Hey,” he greeted from his makeshift room in Jimmy’s house at around two AM or around 10:00 for Rory(who was currently in London). It had been getting harder to get to sleep these days, so he thought he’d take the weekly call now.</p><p>“Hey, you,” she giggled, rolling her eyes at her mom who was making arm kissing gestures. “Isn’t it really late for you?”</p><p>“Or really early. It’s all in the perspective.”</p><p>“Sure, but that’s still not healthy, Jess.” She frowned in concern. At times like these, she wished she was there.</p><p>“I wanted to hear your voice. I miss you.” </p><p>“I miss you too, Jess. More than you know.” </p><p>He grinned at the recollection of the phone call, the first month of their time together. He had loved her in a way back then too.</p><p>“That’s my line, Gilmore.”</p><p>“Deal with it, Mariano, or I might just tell Taylor that you plan on selling hemp hats in Stars Hollow without a permit.”</p><p>“Oh geez! Would you let go of the beach bum thing already?”</p><p>“Not a chance, dude.”</p><p>“You’re impossible!”</p><p>“But you love me.”</p><p>“That I do.”</p><p>________________________</p><p> </p><p>“There had better been a fire!” Rory groaned loudly, stomping out of bed in an old Metallica t-shirt and boyshorts at eight on a Saturday morning. All her roommates had gone home, so she took advantage of it by having some quiet time to study. It had been six months since she had started Yale, and she was genuinely happy. </p><p>Her classes were riveting, Paris was actually proving to be a great friend(especially when she chewed out that ass Logan Huntzberger trying to make a move on Rory), and she and Lorelai were Gilmore-esque as ever. She and Jess wrote regularly and tried for a short call once a week because neither of them were rolling in money.</p><p>She threw open the door with a scowl and was met with a smirk by the offending person, earthy eyes twinkling as they met hers. </p><p>“Sorry, there’s no fire,” he chuckled as her eyes went wide. Her eyes were like a perfectly blue lake that was frozen over for the winter. Captivating, enchanting, and so transparent. Every intimate emotion was mirrored in those eyes, and she wore her heart on her sleeve. So unlike him whose eyes were murky and reserved, his heart hidden away safely in Rory’s pocket where only she could see it.</p><p>Finally, shock morphed into unadulterated elation, and she bounded forward, her slim arms pulling him close in a warm embrace before he could say anything more. The tight hug soon turned into a searing kiss which he did not object to. </p><p>Soon enough, he closed the door with his foot and stumbled into her room, his bag forgotten in the living room as her hands stripped him of his jacket and soon enough, some other articles of clothing. </p><p>He didn’t get to explain what he was doing back for a good while, and they were both perfectly fine with that arrangement.</p><p>_____________________</p><p> </p><p>Rory Gilmore, Yale University, class of 2007. </p><p>Four taxing years, and she was finally leaving this place and on her way to the New York Times. </p><p>As she received the diploma, clapping and a mess of tears were her grandparents, overjoyed to see her walk the same hallowed halls they did.</p><p>Sookie and Jackson blowing her kisses.</p><p>Lane and Dave with a sparkling gold band on the former’s finger.</p><p>Her mom, her most amazing mom, all but sobbing as her first baby girl truly stepped away from school and out into the real world, a pregnant stomach and an emotional Luke in tow.</p><p>And Jess, her soulmate, boyfriend, author and publisher, who had stayed with her for 5 years now, clapping and whistling louder than anyone in the crowd.</p><p>______________________</p><p>“I didn’t think it’d be Jess that was the can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of love,” Lorelai remarked as she tucked white flowers into sections of her daughter’s hair expertly. “But I have to admit, kid, he’s proven himself.”</p><p>“It only took ten years, huh?” Rory laughed, glimpsing at herself in the mirror with an infectious smile. Surprisingly, there were no nerves. Her mind was just occupied with… Jess. </p><p>“Shoot me if anyone quotes me on it, but I think I knew you guys were meant to be from that very first phone call in London. I remember being so sure he was going to run, that he was going to drift from you. Sure enough, you two remained obsessed with each other. I was in denial until he actually got his life together, but anyone could see it, hon. You guys were made to last. I shudder to think what would’ve happened if you hadn’t gotten in that accident so many years ago.” </p><p>“Imagine if I had actually ended up with that pretentious ass from Yale. What was his name?”</p><p>“Lincoln Humpty Dumpty or something, I think,” Lorelai snorted, stepping back from her masterpiece with a smile. Not just the hair, but the gorgeous person she had created. “Well, fruit of my loins, I think we’ve done well.”</p><p>Rory stood up gracefully, the white cloth used to protect her ivory mermaid gown from makeup stains falling off of her. She folded it on a chair neatly.</p><p>She looked radiant. And when Jess’ eyes met hers from across the rose petaled aisle, overflowing with complete love and worshipful adoration, she felt heavenly.</p><p>(She’d feel the same way when he was taking that dress off in a couple hours.)</p><p>__________________</p><p>The smell of bacon awoke her, and she smiled automatically. The space next to her was warm but empty, so she stretched and stood up clumsily, wrapping her warm robe around her pajama clad body. A body that had grown, stretched to accommodate the two greatest gifts she and Jess had given each other in the last twenty years of marriage, but she was happy in it, and Jess would love her no matter what she looked like.</p><p>She stumbled out of her bedroom to see Jess flipping a pancake as bacon sizzled on the stove and grinned, surprising him with a sweet kiss.</p><p>“Mm, that’s a nice way to say ‘good morning’,” he hummed, drawing back from her to place the fluffy goodness on top of a stack already three pancakes high.</p><p>“Not as good as food,” she joked, caressing his lightly stubbled face anyhow. He leaned in again, their lips meeting for a long moment before footsteps padded into the kitchen and a screwed up her face at the sight. Victoria Emilia Gilmore-Mariano was a lanky seventeen year old with observant earth brown eyes, straight brown hair, and porcelain skin. She looked just like her mother, but she was a daddy’s girl through and through.</p><p>This was unlike her twin fourteen year old siblings, Oliver Richard Gilmore-Mariano and Lucy Lane Gilmore-Mariano, who adored their mom more than anyone in the world.</p><p>“Oh geez!” she exclaimed in disgust, scrunching up her nose like her mother often did and walking straight out again, her nose buried in The Scarlet Letter. </p><p>Rory chuckled on his lips as she drew back. “Remind you of anyone?”</p><p>“Maybe,” he laughed, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face. Even at age 48, she remained the most bewitching woman in any universe.</p><p>And to think it had all started with a sixteen year old letting her thoughts stray!</p>
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